Naturally Needy

Some things a human just needs.

And my constant battle with what a human needs just makes things worse for me.

I'm sick of me. I'm over me.

I want to share me so I'm not the same. Even though I know I can't accept newness.

Newness is a great spark for anxiety in a lot of people. 

Dreams really rub things in your face. It's a reminder that I need something.

It makes things hard to handle, like an earthquake. Or maybe I do need it as a pusher to "participate in life."

But in the end, my true nature is always full blown, all fantasies aside.

I. Don't. Deal. With. Anything.

I will be incomplete for the rest of my days. And I'm not being dramatic.

Sometimes one can be so pathetic that they wish someone would spy on them. Through their window, I mean. Watch them in their messy bedroom staring at all the good they tacked onto their walls, or just sitting and staring at the mess they're supposed to clean, looking miserable as hell. They always hated the shit out of their messes, but they could just never bring themselves to move their muscles, especially at night time when they're super weary from the day. They kind of like the mess, though. It makes them seem busy or something, or like they have too much on their hands to care about the place they only go to sleep and stare at their walls.